Fuck life

Man how do people deal with being dumped by the one you love? Cause I can’t do it. I fucking love her way too much to let go, no matter how shitty she treats me. I just hate that she knows she’s fucking me over, like she doesn’t care. What the fuck man. I do nothing but nice caring things for her even after she dumped me and she still acts this way. Something inside her has changed cause this is not her, this is some party animal that has no heart. She has no heart when it comes to me, I have no fucking idea why. I’m nice to her and all that shit and she keeps fucking me over and throwing lies at me. I don’t even know who she is anymore. Cause I’ve never seen this side of her till now. She’s changed, something had to of done it, not me cause I do everything good. I wish she understood the emotional side of my actions, not the physicality of them, understand where I’m coming from, I have no ill intentions. She said she does understand, but I don’t think she means it. She needs some kind of a wake up call, realize all these things she’s doing and the way she’s treating me is fucking wrong. But all I can do is eat it up cause I don’t care in the end, I care more about her just being with me, and hopefully she realizes it soon, and returns to her nice sweet self, the Sydni I know. It really sucks even more too with all this other lame shit going on right at the same time. LIFE IS SHITTING ON ME CONSTANTLY. My parents aren’t talking, arguing all the time, even as I type this shit out they are, my art supplies getting stolen, and just all the shit she’s doing to me. Life is fucking me over and I’m growing weaker and weaker and weaker. I have nothing good at all, I’m a failing piece of shit. I hate myself. I can’t keep a girl, get a job, I can’t do anything right, FUUUUUUUCK. I don’t know what to do anymore. So much on my mind my brain is going to explode and splatter all over the walls of my room. Fuck man. Life is just too much right now. Everything is falling apart and I don’t know what to do. I try to stay strong, but it’s only getting harder and harder and harder… I try to make my own luck, try to look up, but I have no inspiration, will power, confidence. All i can do is keep my chin up. She’s seen how vulnerable and weak I can get and I still feel that way, though I try to look tough and like I’m okay to her. Not until she comes back to me will I look up and have a better attitude towards life. She was my happiness, and now that she’s gone… You get the picture. The worst thing is, I have no one to help me get through this. She was the one who would comfort me but she doesn’t care anymore. So now I have nobody to make me feel better… No-fucking-body. Life couldn’t get any better.